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When people start therapy, they often know something isn't working but can't quite say what they want instead. An intention can help. It isn't a target or a promise. It's a way of naming what you hope to understand.
Goals and intentions are different
A goal is something you achieve: sleep seven hours, have the hard conversation, apply for the job. An intention is more about direction and attention. "I want to understand why I go quiet when I'm hurt" is an intention. It points somewhere without deciding in advance what you'll find.
Both are useful in therapy. Goals help you notice change. Intentions help you stay curious about what sits underneath.
Why intentions help
Naming what you hope to understand gives your sessions a thread to come back to. It helps you notice when something connects, and it helps your therapist see what matters most to you. It can also make it easier to say when a session went somewhere unexpected, which is often where the useful work is.
How to find yours
Some prompts that may help:
- What keeps coming up for me, in different forms?
- What would I like to understand about myself that I don't yet?
- Where do I feel stuck, and what do I notice when I'm there?
- What am I afraid I might find out?
- If things were a little better six months from now, what would be different?
Write down whatever comes, then look for the sentence that has some energy in it. Try phrasing it as "I want to understand..." or "I want to be more honest with myself about...".
Keep it open, and keep it kind
An intention works best when it's open. "I want to stop being anxious" sets you up to judge yourself. "I want to understand what my anxiety is trying to protect" leaves room to learn.
Keep it kind, too. Intentions that start from self-criticism, like "I need to fix how needy I am", tend to make people defensive. Try phrasing it the way you would for a friend.
Hold it loosely
Intentions change. You might start therapy wanting to understand your work stress and find yourself talking about your father. That isn't failure. It often means the intention did its job by getting you started.
It can help to revisit your intention every few weeks with your therapist. Is this still the question? Has it shifted? What have I noticed?
Intentions in preparation and integration therapy
Intentions also come up in psychological preparation and in integration therapy after a psychedelic experience. The approach is the same: a question you hope to understand, held loosely. In integration, it can be useful to look back at what you hoped to understand and compare it with what actually came up, without deciding that one was right and the other wrong.
P.A.T.H. provides psychotherapy only. We do not sell, supply, prescribe, administer, dose or supervise psilocybin or any other psychedelic. Any psychedelic experience is arranged independently by the client and is not part of our service.
When you're not sure what you want
It's fine to arrive at therapy without an intention. Finding one can be part of the work. Sometimes the first honest sentence is "I don't know what I want, but I know this isn't it." That's a good place to start.
If you'd like to talk with a qualified therapist about what you hope to understand, you can read about online therapy at P.A.T.H.
